I haven’t felt this bad in a long time. I am having great difficulty sleeping-Couldn't sleep last night till about 3 in the morning, wondering what else I can do to get the extra pregnancy pounds off. I just wish I've got the same ass and body I had before I was pregnant !! I just feel rotten. Like the worst mother in the world. House is in a disaster, baby's crying in the background....I don't know what to do. I'm at a loss ! I think people owe it to their spouses to love them, to work hard at the marriage and to remember to try and make their spouses feel appreciated: And I DO feel appreciated, coz Ian does the babysitting after he comes back from work, and I get to catch up on my sleep ! At least, I know that he notices, and cares and appreciates all that I do, and I seriously appreciate it ! Weight is such an issue for women. and it's not even close to as difficult for men. It's not fair that our metabolism slows down by like 50% and theirs doesn't (i read that somewhere once ) !

I don't think the scales will ever budge if I remain lazy like this. My problem : I love desserts and chocolates and too lazy to get my ass out of the house to do some exercise. Never like that coz I used to look forward to our weekly exercise. Now, I can't even be bothered to see if my hair is OK. Just grab a scrunchie and tie my hair up. I've got this ''trying to lose pregnancy weight'' thingy bothering me this whole week, and worse today. Don't like looking at the mirror yet tho' coz I still look the same after JJ was out. Well, I know I look the same, no matter what other people are telling me. It's getting more and more frustrating each day, and now I am going to see if changing my diet works. Having a baby around you the whole day is quite a lot of stress and I am trying not to indulge myself in comfort food for now. Managed to do quite alright today tho' ! ( except the fact that I had to stuff down a Mars Bar ice-cream for lunch). Managed to get on with 2 pots of yoghurt and a coffee the whole day. Maybe this is just the start, I dunno ! I've discovered something about myself : I can stop indulging in chocolates / desserts if I really want to. Sheer vanity made it difficult for me to accept the extra pounds coz even tho I could squeeze into those pre-pregnancy clothes, they looked horrible on me. Probably more like a sausage ! Have to admit that I am sooo embarassed by my weight now. Summer's so hot now, and the heatwave is getting into me ! Lotsa people are in bikinis here, and me ???? No, I wouldn't even want to wear something that's body hugging !

If anyone out there has got any tips on losing the pregnancy weight, let me know !! Hey Doink, if you're reading this, tell me how did u manage to get that scrawny ! Just don't want to use JJ as an excuse for the extra pounds - '' I just had a baby, therefore I am busy, and therefore, I don't have the time to do anything ''. Went for a walkie around Tower of London today with JJ this afternoon ( in the heat ). Don't know if it's any good, but it's an effort ! Having a baby's just changed my life, but I guess, for the better. Sometimes, to make myself feel better, i tell myself this '' You are in new territory and your body feels different. It should. You are a mother now and your priorities are different. The child comes first—it's instinct with us. Don't fight that instinct. The day will come when you will return to yourself again. '' It just brings me back to reality, and keeps my sanity at bay whenever I thought of the 88 to 90 pound shadow that I was in before I was pregnant.